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Matt Koff
Posts
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July 01, 02:30 PM
What I’ve Been Up To
Hello,
Believe it or not, I’ve been lambasted for not blogging here enough. So, Mom, here’s a quick update on what I’ve been up to:
- Stand-up comedy: After about a year or two of deliberation, I recently decided to start doing stand-up. Please check back for upcoming shows on the yet-to-be-added Shows page.
- Contributing for the “Onion Sports Network” TV show: Thanks to the Onion and their new sports news parody show which premieres on Comedy Central in January ’11, I have scored my first job writing for television. A proud moment, or it would be, if I didn’t do all my writing at home in my underwear whilst covered in KFC Double Down grease.
- Co-writing Episode Seven of 9 AM Meeting: Dan McCoy and I (mostly Dan) are working feverishly to grind out a new episode in time for Channel 101 NY‘s July screening. If you’re in the NYC Metropolitan area, you should come. We need your votes!
- Writing new sketches: My sketch comedy group, Mr. Whitepants’ Comedy Hour, is planning a new live show for the fall. Stay tuned for details on that, Mom!
- Sweating: I’ve been sweating a lot. It’s disgusting.
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June 02, 06:10 PM
New Headline In ONN News Crawl!
This very funny Onion News Network video was not written or conceived by me, but I did write the headline that appears in the newscrawl at 0:30!
The video:
Stouffers To Include Suicide Prevention Tips On Single Serve Microwavable Meals
In case you missed it, the joke written by me: “Perverted FDA Official Advises Women to Eat Bananas More Slowly”
Ah, blowjobs.
GOODNIGHT SEATTLE, WE LOVE YOU!
- April 29, 12:54 PM
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April 07, 06:31 PM
THE QUARTERLY DEVASTATOR
Hello!
I wrote an article in a brand new quarterly anthology entitled, “The Devastator”. Other contributors include actor James Urbaniak (The Venture Brothers, American Splendor), cartoonists David Malki! (Wondermark) and R. Sikoryak (Masterpiece Comics). But before this amazing and brilliant project can come to fruition, it needs your donations to make it happen. So whether you’re a millionaire tycoon reading this in the northeast “wifi wing” of your mansion, or a hobo on borrowed time at the Apple Store in SoHo, please take a moment to donate to this exciting endeavor!
- March 11, 11:38 PM
- February 26, 09:47 AM
- February 15, 01:52 PM
- February 15, 01:45 PM
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January 27, 03:49 PM
9 AM Meeting’s website is live!
The official website of my and Dan McCoy’s webseries 9 AM Meeting has just launched. Check it out at 9AMMeeting.com !
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January 20, 04:43 PM
9 AM Meeting Episode Four, Coming February 10th!
Come see the premiere at next month’s Channel 101: NY screening.
Wednesday, February 10 at 92YTribeca.
Doors at 8:30.$6.
Meanwhile, check out old episodes here.
Posts
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July 17, 02:11 AM
Friday, 7/30: Stand-up comedy,
“Banana Pie.”
@ Ochi’s Lounge (basement of Comix)
353 W 14th St (between 8th and 9th Avenue)
7pm - Free w/ one drink minimum.
[ Event page. ]
Thursday, 8/5: Stand-up comedy,
“Variety Underground.”
317 E Houston St (btw. Ave B and C)
7pm - Free w/ drink minimum.
[ Event page. ]
Updates
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172 minutes ago from web
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Still proud to have coined the acronym TMIG (Too Much Indigo Girls)18 hours ago from web
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@madamegazette bahaha!27 hours ago from web
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28 hours ago from txt
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@Spidey004 OK, slightly less hard than that.39 hours ago from web
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#FF: me, but like, even harder39 hours ago from web
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Hello there I am doing stand-up at Ochi's Lounge tonight at 7pm please come thank you goodbye. http://bit.ly/bGdSUA41 hours ago from web
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I love the Twin Peaks soundtrack as much as anybody, but: not the best jogging music.2 days ago from web
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@emmanuellewis Oh no you didn't!3 days ago from web
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Queens is the only place on Earth where you can pee on a sidewalk in broad daylight and nobody will see. Well, nobody who matters.3 days ago from txt
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You ladies like Groupons? #badpickuplines3 days ago from web
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If you ask me, good writing consists of 99% inspiration and 99% perspiration. It also helps to be horrible at calculating percentages.4 days ago from web
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To all of you who will inevitably ask: "Where did you buy those sunglasses? A laundromat?" The answer is, "Yes. Yes I did."5 days ago from txt
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I like to cook. #unprovocativeconfessions6 days ago from web
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#nowplaying Prisencolinensinainciusol - Adriano Celentano http://youtu.be/FcUi6UEQh006 days ago from web
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They made a biopic about the guy who started Facebook. There better be a scene where he wrestles Tom from MySpace on the moon.14 days ago from web
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When Willem Dafoe dies, who will play all the ugly characters?15 days ago from txt
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#nowplaying "Western Star" by Frank Black and the Catholics #frankblackfriday15 days ago from web
Posts
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July 17, 02:21 AM
“9 AM Meeting Episode 7: Hot Flashes.”
Starring and written by Matt Koff and Dan McCoy.
Drawn, edited, and produced by Dan McCoy.
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June 11, 02:39 PM
“9 AM Meeting Episode 6: A Leg Up.”
Starring and written by Matt Koff and Dan McCoy.
Drawn, edited, and produced by Dan McCoy.
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June 11, 02:38 PM
“9 AM Meeting Episode 5: Tea For Two.”
Starring and written by Matt Koff and Dan McCoy.
Drawn, edited, and produced by Dan McCoy.
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June 11, 02:34 PM
“9 AM Meeting Episode 4: Taxicab Confessions.”
Starring and written by Matt Koff and Dan McCoy.
Drawn, edited, and produced by Dan McCoy.
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December 10, 12:00 AM
“Channel 101: Craft Services.”
Written and directed by Matt Koff.
Starring Eden Gauteron, Tom Silvestro, Dan McCoy, Matt Koff, Trevor Williams, Adam Newman, and Ed Mundy.
Appearances by Aldous Davidson, Michael Rautins, Rick Shine, and Jess Lane.
Edited by Dennis Stemplinski.
Shot by Chris Prine.
Sound by Tom Silvestro.
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November 04, 03:20 PM
“9 AM Meeting Episode 3: Great Pumpkin.”
Starring and written by Matt Koff and Dan McCoy.
Drawn, edited, and produced by Dan McCoy.
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November 03, 03:28 PM
“Starting Over.”
Starring Matt Koff, Roy Koshy, and Dan McCoy.
Written by Matt Koff.
Directed and edited by Brandon Lisy.
Sound by Steve Horak.
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October 17, 12:00 AM
“C+C Music Factory.”
Written by Matt Koff.
Directed and edited by Brandon Lisy.
Sound by Steve Horak.
Starring Dan McCoy, Rob Morrison, and Meghan O’Neill.
http://www.mrwhitepantscomedy.com -
September 23, 12:00 AM
“9 AM Meeting Episode 2: The Iceman Cometh.”
Starring and written by Matt Koff and Dan McCoy.
Drawn, edited, and produced by Dan McCoy.
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May 06, 12:00 AM
“Home Office.”
Directed by Matt Vermeulen.
Written by Shek Baker, Dennis Stemplinski, Matt Vermeulen, and Matt Koff.
Starring Shek Baker, Dennis Stemplinski, and Matt Koff.
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March 27, 12:00 AM
“The Fruitwastersons.”
Starring Mary Regan, Matt Koff, Rob Morrison, and Dave Fox.
Written by Matt Koff.
Directed by Jordan Cooper.
Edited by Tyler Peck.
“Fruitwastersons” theme by Jordan Cooper.
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March 01, 12:00 AM
“9 AM Meeting Episode 1: Apple Picking.”
Written and performed by Matt Koff and Dan McCoy.
Drawn, edited, and produced by Dan McCoy.
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May 06, 12:00 AM
“The Wendy’s Sketch.”
Written by Matt Koff.
Directed by Jordan Cooper.
Starring Matt Koff, Amanda Allan, Tim Deery, Dan McCoy, Mary Frances Huang, Tyler Peck, Soce the Elemental Wizard, and Chris Ryan.
Edited by Matt Koff and Jordan Cooper.
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January 25, 12:00 AM
“How Not To Beat Guitar Hero.”
Directed by Jordan Cooper.
Written by Matt Koff.
Starring Mary Regan and Matt Koff.
Edited by Matt Koff.
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December 28, 12:00 AM
“Average Joe Cooking Show: Christmas Show.”
Written by Dennis Stemplinski and Matt Koff.
Directed by Dennis Stemplinski.
Edited by Matt Koff.
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November 22, 12:00 AM
“Average Joe Cooking Show: Thanksgiving Special.”
Written by Dennis Stemplinski and Matt Koff.
Directed and edited by Dennis Stemplinski.
Starring Matt Koff.
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February 07, 12:00 AM
“Drunk Driving P.S.A.”
Written and edited by Matt Koff.
Music by Jordan Cooper.
Soccer balls by Jordan Cooper and Tim Deery.
V.O. by Fred Udell.
Posts
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June 13, 01:52 PM
About Matt Koff
Matt Koff is:
- A New York City-based writer and comedian who has performed at UCB Theater, the PIT, and the Magnet Theater.
- A contributing writer for the Onion News Network and upcoming “Onion Sports Network” show on Comedy Central.
- A founding member of the sketch comedy group, “Mr. Whitepants”.
- A multiheaded lizard beast hellbent on the destruction of Santa Fe, New Mexico.
- A writer for the award winning web series 9 AM Meeting.
One of the above is not true.
E-mail Matt here.
