chimerical

ki-mer-i-kuhl
–adjective
1. unreal; imaginary; visionary: a chimerical terrestrial paradise.
2. wildly fanciful; highly unrealistic: a chimerical plan.

--Get your chimerical ass off my fantasy fuckin' baseball team!

--Welcome to Patsy's Chimerical Minibar! In it you'll find bottomless tiny bottles of Bacardi Limon and Charleston Chews as big as Snuffaluppuggi!

--Ever notice how the last 3 syllables of "chimerical" kinda sound like miracle? That's because miracles don't happen. Now get your ass off my fantasy fuckin' baseball team!