halcyon

\HAL-see-uhn\, adjective:
1. Calm; quiet; peaceful; undisturbed; happy; as, "deep, halcyon repose."
2. Marked by peace and prosperity; as, "halcyon years."

--Like halcyon days through the halcyon hourglass, these are the halcyon days of our halcyon lives.
--A bottle of brandy at my side and an excrescence growing out of my forehead; those were halcyon times.

excrescence

\ik-SKRESS-uhn(t)s\, noun:
1. Something (especially something abnormal) growing out from something else.
2. A disfiguring or unwanted mark, part, or addition.

--When Michael’s excrescence started singing Unchained Melody, we began to worry.
--What are you talking about? I love my excrescence, I mean baby!

unctuous

\UNGK-choo-us\, adjective:Of the nature or quality of an unguent or ointment; fatty;   oily; greasy.

We’re delighted that you and your unctuous bride could join us for dinner.
For reasons unknown, no wrangler has been able to wrangle the famous “Unctuous-Backed Bull.”

abulia

\uh-BOO-lee-uh; uh-BYOO-\, noun:
Loss or impairment of the ability to act or to make decisions.

--Ahh yes, the spit or swallow issue. Sounds like you were suffering from what is known as "blowjob abulia."
--After being given the choices of "Your mother, your sister, and your grandma" while playing "Do, Marry, or Kill," Martin was spun into an abulia from which he could never recover.

mulct

\MULKT\, noun:
A fine or penalty.

--You have trespassed in the cave of mine, so now must you pay the mulct, or fine!!!

transitive verb:
To obtain by fraud or deception.

--An honest man milks a cow, buta lyin' man mulcts it.

stormy petrel

\STOR-mee-PET-ruhl\, noun:
1. Any of various small sea birds of the family Hydrobatidae, having dark plumage with paler underparts; also called storm petrel.


Bob: "Hey Jim, do you see that small sea bird over there, having dark plumage with paler underparts?"
Jim: "Yes, Bob?"
Bob: "Is that bird called a stormy petrel?"
Jim: "I think so, Bob."

2. One who brings discord or strife, or appears at the onset of trouble

--And then there is the Venus Fly Trap, commonly known as the "stormy petrel" of the Super Mario Brothers saga.

recondite

\REK-uhn-dyt\, adjective:
Difficult to understand; abstruse.

--For some reason, Rodriguo found it recondite that no one else on the Carnival Cruise wanted to see his taint.

--Poverty, war, how to make a twinkie; the truly recondite ideas of our time.

frangible

\FRAN-juh-buhl\, adjective:
Capable of being broken; brittle; fragile; easily broken.

--I never thought Martha would find a more frangible husband than Porcelain Pete. That is, until she went and married Granola Bones Bob.

spoony

\SPOO-nee\, adjective:
1. Foolish; silly; excessively sentimental.

--Shoebox Cards used to be the edgiest greeting cards in town, but lately they’ve gone all spoony!

2. Foolishly or sentimentally in love.

--Well, Mrs. Johnson, your son has, as we in the medical profession like to call it, gone spoony.

furbelow

\FUR-buh-low\, noun:
1. A pleated or gathered flounce on a woman's garment; a ruffle.

--Look at Hildegaard, shaking her furbelows like it's 1899!


2. Something showy or superfluous; a bit of showy ornamentation.

I appreciate a nice furbelow like anyone else, but a candlestick fashioned to look like a nude Jerry Lee Lewis in his prime, to me that's just excessive!

omicron

n. om·i·cron
The 15th letter of the Greek alphabet.

Sadly, omicron is widely regarded as the "Ringo" of the Greek Alphabet.
Alphas and betas and gammas, omi! (cron)

unguent

\UNG-gwuhnt\, noun:
A salve for sores, burns, or the like; an ointment.

--The king's medicine cabinet is filled with only the richest, finest unguents, so as to soothe his royal herpes.

yurt

/yûrt/
n. A circular, domed, portable tent used by nomadic peoples of central Asia.

--My name's Burt, and this is my yurt!
--Yurts don't have curtains. They have yurtains.

gambol

\GAM-buhl\, intransitive verb:
To dance and skip about in play; to frolic.

--And this is the king's gamboling room. He is a royal priss.
--...where the antelope doth frolic, and the midgets doth gambol.

hebetude

\HEB-uh-tood-; -tyood\, noun:
Mental dullness or sluggishness.


"I am one of the thousands plagued by morning hebetude."

dol

/d0l/ n.
A unit for the measurement of the intensity of pain.

--If you ask me, a tap on the balls is at least 5 dols more than a kick in the shins.
--How many dols to a broken heart? I've lost count. :(((((

aga

\A-GA\ Turkish military officer

--I've spent so much of my life telling people I'm a Turkish Military Officer. If only I'd known the term "AGA". I'll never get those minutes back!

--Watch out. This acid will eat through you faster than an aga in a fig factory.

--I was once an aga, though I don't mean to braga.

eke

eke \EEK\, transitive verb:
1. To gain or supplement with great effort or difficulty -- used with 'out'.
2. To increase or make last by being economical -- used with 'out'.

With hard work at the Quik-E-Mart, Jose has finally managed to eke out a few creature comforts, like a multi-million dollar estate at Marth's Vineyard and a Rolls Royce.

And a helicopter.

taw

\TO\, noun:
A large marble used for shooting in the game of marbles.

If I'm a dog then you're the paw. If you're a marble, then I'm a taw.
That's the craziest ting I ever taw!