incommunicado

\in-kuh-myoo-nih-KAH-doh\, adverb or adjective:
Without the means or right to communicate.

"He was without phone, email, instant messaging, text messaging, fax machine, payphone, beeper, ham radio, telegraph, steam whistle,vocal chords, facial expressions, shofar, or lamb shank. In other words, Mike was truly incommunicado."

"Welcome to Cafe Incommunicado, Home of the Awkward Family Dinner."