pandemic

\pan-DEM-ik\, adjective:1. Affecting a whole people or a number of countries; everywhere epidemic.

"There is a pandemic spreading across the nation and around the world. Authorities have identified it as "wang chung.'"

butyraceous

/byoo-tuh-REY-shuhs/, adjective
having the nature of, resembling, or containing butter.

"To be honest, Margaret, I think your boyfriend is butyraceous, but only in the way that he melts when you put him on toast."

"Gary, this essay on Andrew Jackson's rise to political office is butyraceous, and I mean that in the worst way possible."

"Okay, let's try that again, but this time butyraceously."

cuckold

[kuhk-uhld], noun
1. the husband of an unfaithful wife.

–verb (used with object)
2. to make a cuckold of (a husband).

"Iris, once again you've made a cuckold of me! No vanilla ice cream for you tonight!"

"So come on down to Russ Devlyn's County Key Party, just off Route 68! The Best Place to Cuckold and Be Cuckolded since 1963!"

gelid

\JEL-id\, adjective:
Extremely cold; icy.

"My apartment is more gelid than Winona Ryder on her honeymoon with someone she has married for the wrong reasons, or perhaps merely has conflicted feelings about."

"Totally gelid, dude!"

hinterland

\HIN-tur-land\, noun:
1. A region situated inland from a coast.
2. A region remote from urban areas; backcountry.
3. A region situated beyond the major metropolitan or cultural centers.

"The defining pastime of any hinterland: the Slip 'n' Slide."

"Ain't nobody enters my daughter's hinterlands out of wedlock!"

exegete

\EK-suh-jeet\, noun:
A person who explains or interprets difficult parts of written works.

"Step aside! Let an exegete handle this."

"I was going to hire an exegete, but I spent all my money on a life coach." - Moses, Ten Commandments Oopsies, Bloopers, and Outtakes

stertorous

\STUR-tuh-ruhs\, adjective:
Characterized by a heavy snoring or gasping sound; hoarsely breathing.

"Neither Mikey nor Bobby what the evening at Emphysema Pete's had in store for them, but whatever it was, it was sure to be stertorous."

"The years have made you stertorous. BUT I'M SURE THOSE HOSTESS CUPCAKES DIDN'T HELP EITHER. EH, FATTY-FATTY?"

polyglot

\PAHL-ee-glot\–adjective

1.	able to speak or write several languages; multilingual.

2.	containing, composed of, or written in several languages: a polyglot Bible.

"Sure, Franklin may be polyglot, but that's not gonna help him on the dance floor! Especially not when DISCO JIM is in town!" - Disco Jim

"Did you know that the song Feliz Navidad is actually polyglot? That's because it contains both Spanish and English. Case in point: 'Feliz navidad,' and 'I want to wish you a Merry Christmas.'" - The most boring person in the world.

variegated

\VAIR-ee-uh-gay-tid\, adjective:
Having marks or patches of different colors; as, "variegated leaves or flowers."

"Cristal's family tree was as variegated as rainbow sherbert dipped in skittles floating in a sea of crayons inside a McDonald's commercial."

"My, aren't we variegated today!"

imperious

/im-PEER-ee-uhs/, adjective.
1. domineering in a haughty manner; dictatorial; overbearing: an imperious manner.
2. urgent; imperative: imperious need.

"While many thought Herr Klaus' new imperious manner a turn-off, Lichtenstein found it to be a turn...on."

"Lieutenant Michaels, it is imperious that you put these Keebler cookies in the microwave."