sapient

\SAY-pee-uhnt\, adjective:
Wise; sage; discerning.

"Hey, you're pretty sapient for a piece of pudding skin."

"'Me go peepee in your coke'? Why, that's not sapient at all! I demand another fortune cookie! Waitress? Waitress?! Is there a waitress around here? Oh wait, I forgot: I'm not in a Chinese Restaurant, I'm in prison for tax evasion. How many years till I get out? Sixty five?!! Awww, mittens!"

quondam

\KWAHN-duhm; KWAHN-dam\, adjective:
Having been formerly; former; sometime.

"I told him I was a quondam military officer, but he just kept crying and telling me there's no need for that kind of language."

"Until you've made love in the quondam Communist Republic of Laos, you haven't made love at all."

roue

\roo-AY\, noun:
A man dedicated to a life of sensual pleasure; a debauchee; a rake.

"Captain Steve was as at home in the cockpit as a roue in a Nutella factory."

"Q: How many roues does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Eat butterscotch off my chest."

esurient

\ih-SUR-ee-uhnt; -ZUR-\, adjective:
Hungry; voracious; greedy.

"I don't know, 'Esurient Esurient Hippos' doesn't have that Parker Brothers ring to it."

Nadie licked her lips, took off her sunglasses, and said to the butcher esuriently, "I haven't had a slice of corned beef in ages."

gimlet

\GIM-lit\, noun.

1. A small hand tool having a spiraled shank, a screw tip, and a cross handle and used for boring holes.

2. A cocktail made with vodka or gin, sweetened lime juice, and sometimes effervescent water and garnished with a slice of lime.

"I'm not saying I want a gimlet for Christmas; I'm just saying, whatever you get me, it better have a spiraled shank, a screw tip, and a cross handle which I can use for boring holes."

"Bartender, one gimlet on the rocks. Why? BECAUSE I'M A GAY DIVORCEE!"

choler

\KOLL-ur; KOLE-ur\, noun:
Irritation of the passions; anger; wrath.

"But Calvin knew the one topic of conversation that could reach deep into Frederique's soul and truly stir his choler: The Bagel Guillotine."

"Whoa, did somebody push the 'choler' button in here or what?!"

concatenation

\kon-kat-uh-NAY-shuhn; kuhn-\, noun:
A series of links united; a series or order of things depending on each other, as if linked together; a chain, a succession.

"Look, I can't eat my pancakes until some guy in India blows his nose. That's how a concatenation works, Gustav!!!"

parlous

\PAR-luhs\, adjective:
Attended with peril; fraught with danger; hazardous.

"Jim parlously attended the Dave Matthews Band concert, as he was allergic to AWESOME GROOVES!"

apotheosis

\uh-pah-thee-OH-sis; ap-uh-THEE-uh-sis\, noun;
plural apotheoses \-seez\:

Elevation to divine rank or stature; deification.

"I'm afraid your son has a rare disorder in which he suffers from divine omnipotence, the ability to pass through semipermeable membranes, and a career as a 3-time Tony-award winning actress. A condition us doctors refer to as 'Apotheosis-Osmosis-Glennclosis.'"